Before I leave Australia I have a couple of days in Bondi Junction with a friend who has also been battling CFS for the last 2 years. We share copious notes. She has used even more therapeutic approaches than I have to get better (that's a lot!). I drink in being with someone who so deeply understands how this feels. I think there's a chance we both do.
I am still finding even everyday functioning quite a challenge (walking around the house, preparing food, washing clothes...). Managing CFS AND planning and organising the trip while enjoying each chapter of it as much as I can isn't easy. I chose all of this and am not complaining. I slightly question the wisdom of what I am doing in terms of my recovery. If I can't keep getting better, if I am sending my mobility backwards by travelling anywhere, let alone around the world, it genuinely isn't worth it... But so far I know I want to carry on. I know how unspeakably lucky I am to be doing this. I know that even if having such a limited daily bodily battery life upsets me... I am still better. So very much better in fact that I was able to get here at all.
My 3 weeks in Australia have felt like a flying visit, but every moment was worth it. It all feels a bit unfinished - there are people I haven't been able to say a proper goodbye to or even a hello to at all because of the CFS. Perhaps we leave many of the good things in life feeling that way. If I'm lucky enough, I'll simply have to come back. When I'm able to walk unimpeded, surf, swim fast front crawl, move around and be more sociable again.
An ME/CFS Thriver